Unpredictable
by BlueFog
Summary: Lord voldemort is planning to take revenge on Harry Potter, but something unexpected happens that no one could of guessed in a million years. RR Please. (Rated for immature behavior.)
1. Dinnertime at Voldemort's

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. They are NOT mine! No they are not, so don't sue, please!  
  
A/N: This is my first fanfic so if there are any problems, please tell me in a review. Also this is something I'm doing cause I'm bored so currently it is absolute nonsense and has no plot. This is a humor story made for your enjoyment, so the characters are a little out of character. Flames (hopefully) won't be necessary but constructive criticism would be much more appreciated.  
  
~UNPREDICTABLE~  
  
Chapter one: Dinnertime at Voldemort's  
  
Lord Voldemort, most feared dark lord in the wizarding world sat down to dinner. "Aw, spinach again? Can't you deatheaters cook anything other than spinach?" He shouted into the darkness of the kitchen behind him.  
  
"Y-yes my lord," a nervous voice stuttered. A small bony figure came out the kitchen. "I-I c-could make chicken p-potpie."  
  
"Well then, MAKE IT!" Voldemort bellowed.  
  
The figure scurried back into the kitchen. He tripped many times over his shoelaces.  
  
Voldemort sat on the edge of his chair twiddling his thumbs. 'Hmm what should I think about?' He wondered while waiting for his stupid deatheaters to make his chicken potpie. 'Ah, I know! I should really start thinking of how I am going to defeat that annoying boy: Harry Potter. Hmm should I chase him out of town with an angry mob of floating torches? Nah. I should roast him and then dare one of my knuckleheaded deatheaters to eat him. Nah, too disgusting and I highly detest cannibals. So how should I kill Him?'  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by one of his deatheaters. "Er. sir? Y- your potpie b-burned s-so it w-will be t-ten more m-minutes."  
  
"Grrr! You interrupted my thoughts. That makes me mad! Grr!" Voldemort bellowed. "I have no further use of your pathetic interruptions. AVADA KEDAVRA!"  
  
Before the poor deatheater could open his mouth, He was struck by the deadly green light that emerged from his master's wand. He flopped dead on the floor.  
  
"Next time," Voldemort practically laughed. "Don't interrupt me unless it's good news!" 'Now back to thinking.' Voldemort once more was absorbed in his planning.  
  
Before he knew it, he was pulled out of his thoughts by the delicious smell of chicken potpie wafting through the air. "Mmmmm, that's good." He murmured.  
  
Another one of his many kitchen deatheaters scurried in carrying a platter. He gently set it on the table in front of Voldemort. Then without word, he scurried back into the shadows of the kitchen.  
  
As Lord Voldemort dug in to his dinner a thought came into his mind. It was the best plan that he could currently think of. Always better than no plan.  
  
Harry Potter is going die under the powers of Lord Voldemort. Muahahahahahaha! *cough cough (Choke from laughing)  
  
A/N: So how do you like my first chapter? Please tell me in a review! Give me any ideas, I'll be happy to put them in my story. 


	2. The First of my Troubles

Disclaimer: once again I must sadly announce that none of the characters are mine!!! They belong to J.K Rowling. Well I do own one character that will be appearing in this chapter.

A/N: sorry for keeping you guys waiting been to busy with tests and stuff. Story has a plot now! Just of it. And thanks to my reviewers it just popped in my mind!

To foow: thanks for the idea! I'll use it sometime! Thanks for the review .

To my other reviewers: thanks I'll try to satisfy everyone.

UNPREDICTABLE

Chapter two: The First of my Troubles

Harry Potter, a soon going to be, sixth year wizard at Hogwarts academy sat staring out of the window with a strange expression on his face and his mouth shaped as in saying the word "Duh..." There doesn't seem to be anything interesting for him to do in his aunt and uncle's small house somewhere located in the muggle world.

"There doesn't seem to be anything interesting for me to do in my aunt and uncle's small house," Harry repeated to himself not knowing that was what the narrator just said a second ago.

With boredom surrounding him like a disease that he can't get rid of without the psychological medicine that is the wizarding world, Harry slowly moved his way down the stairs half tripped half stumbled and half slumping down. ----- (Interruption in story)

Harry Potter looks strangely at me:

Harry: There can't be three halves can there?

Me: Nope.

Harry: sweatdrop uh... then why did u put three halves instead of three thirds?

Me: It's my summer break so give it a break! (get it?) I don't want to think about math right now.

Harry: ... You don't need to think to be able to know that three halves are actually supposed to be three thirds. And how can I do all those things at once?

Me: You're a wizard Harry.

Harry: I'm a what?

Me: A wizard.

Harry: Me? A wizard? Oh! Yeah, I forgot.

Me: slap head Jeez... Now back to the story!

--------(End of the, umm... the slight interruption)

As he was nearing the kitchen he saw his cousin Dudley pigging out in the fridge.

'Too bad his tail's gone I kind of miss it.' Harry thought.

Suddenly his cousin noticed him from the corner of his eye, "Noooo! Don't come near me!" he cried (we all thought that he was afraid of Harry's wizard powers, but we were sadly mistaken) "I don't want to catch your boredom disease! Noooo!"

"Oh, jeez... you don't have to overreact. It's only a disease that is caught by wizards like me, who are not is contact with the wizarding world." Harry explained, and then he added under his breath. "And who are trapped with stupid pig headed muggles like you."

Dudley still, as if not heard a word Harry said, quickly scrambled away. As Dudley closed the kitchen door, to contain the disease in a closed area as not to contaminate him with it, Harry noticed movement outside the kitchen window. He moved closer to the window and saw that the movement was actually "Movement" on the moving truck parked in the next door's drive way.

'New neighbors?' Harry thought, bored, 'how boring.'

That was what he thought until he saw the face peering out of the truck window, which was the cure for his disease. In his shocked state Harry thought, 'Now Dudley won't have to be acting weird anymore.' And then a more fitting thought occurred to him, 'that kid's face looks familiar! I've seen him somewhere before!"

Suddenly, for now particular reason whatsoever, Harry was run down with a familiar sensation. "I need to go to the bathroom,' he thought as he hurried out of the kitchen and into the first floor bathroom.

Now let's take a break when our main character is taking one as well

a long time later...

FLUUUUUUUUSH!!

Ok now back to where we left off

When Harry was washing his hands in the washstand in front of the mirror, he looked up and found the answer to the question he was thinking of before, about why the kid in the truck had such a familiar face. It was the exact image of his face! He had the exact face as the kid in the truck; no wait the kid in the truck had the exact face as his own! (What's the difference?) Whatever it may be, Harry having realized this hurried back into the kitchen. By now most of the stuff was moved out of the truck, (which shows how long Mr. Potter takes in the washroom) and the kid was standing on the driveway watching over the process.

Harry studied the kid closely, well as closely as you can get from the kitchen window, and noticed that he was the same age as himself, same height same everything. It was like looking in the mirror but with the mirror image moving differently, and three meters away.

The boy unexpectedly turned to Harry and gave him a strange smile that Harry could never do. It reminded him sickeningly of the Slytherins at Hogwarts.

"Harry! Where is that stinking' boy?" the voice of Uncle Vernon thundered into the room, "Ah! There you are! Get upstairs boy! Tonight the new neighbors are coming over to dinner and you are to stay quiet! Understand? And are you still contaminated with that weird disease?" Uncle Vernon said all this at the door, which is a considerable distance from Harry incase of the disease.

"OK." Harry said annoyed, for the first time since the "disease", "and I'm cured! Jeez..."

Harry this time actually walked normally up the stairs and closed the door to his room. He let out a big sigh. It was like he was some sort of monster to the Dursleys. He was always supposed to be kept quiet from other people. He was like a secret, a bad secret.

The door rang at exactly seven o'clock pm and the Dursleys welcomed their guests as usual in their fineries and with small talk. In Dudley's case it was big, round, fat talk, to the strange boy. While the mothers got together and the fathers got together with conversations that are mostly one-sided to the Dursleys because the adults of the strange family didn't say much and they both strangely wore black clothing and a hooded sweater. Also another strange thing is that they both kept the hoods on at all times.

Then finally Aunt Petunia couldn't contain it anymore and tried to see if the child had anymore thing to say than his parents.

"So, can you tell what your name is dear?" she asked.

"Parry, Parry Lordymord." The strange boy answered.

"Well that's a nice name, Parry. What would u like? Water or juice?"

"I would like to meet with the boy you are keeping in secret upstairs."

Parry looked around the room with a small smile, seeing the shocked expressions on all the Dursley's faces.

"Harry Potter, I believe is his name?" he added and walked up the stairs quietly.

Meanwhile the said Harry Potter is flopped on his bed sleeping making absolutely no noise to have anyone notice that someone was up there. Until he was wakened up be a small knock one the door and the creek of the door opening. Well actually it was because he just let out a loud snore that woke himself up, (don't blame other things Harry. Harry: sorry). Well anyways... And there standing in the doorframe was a new mirror! REWIND!

Director: CUT! Harry you got the script wrong!

Harry: Sorry!

Director: ok now ACTION!

And there standing in the doorframe was the mirror image of himself smiling, no sneering back.

Director: And CUT!

Cast: What now?

Director: it's my coffee break! . Yipee! Ok we'll continue this tomorrow! Bye everyone!

Everyone: Bye!

A/N: I found it fascinating to make the interruptions that might add amusement into this fic more like a movie. I dunno why! . Anyways, I felt like ending it off with a cliffhanger, b/c of scientific reasons. And I have the third chapter all typed up so it would be let out with the ransom of three reviews!

Send in the ideas folks!

Wait for the next chapter:

Clone? Twin? Or Crossbred Penguins Raised in Guwam.


	3. Clone? Twin? Or Crossbred Penguins

Disclaimer: And once again I must sadly announce that I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. The only character I own (currently) is Parry Lordymord, well not completely. The features are from Harry Potter and the idea was from one of my reviewers.

A/N: I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry that this took sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long! I really didn't kno how to leangthen this chapter like everyone wanted me to, so I squeezed in chapter 4 as well. Please accept my apologies! I hope you all enjoy this chappie! . (and to burst some ppls' bubbles…. But, Parry isn't who he so obviously seems to be P well, more on that later in this chapter. ) Enjoy!

UNPREDICTABLE

Chapter three: Clone? Twin? Or Crossbred Penguins Raised in Gwuam

Rewind of the last chapter: "And there standing in the door frame was the mirror image of himself, smiling, no sneering back."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" screamed Harry Potter in a strange girlish scream,

Interruption made by our main character…

Harry: Hey! I'm not gay you know.

Me: It was part of the script.

…Interruption over

and rolled off the bed, " Don't come into someone's bedroom without knocking!"

"Sorry!" apologized Parry Lordymord as he stepped out of the bedroom. Suddenly Parry realized something, and barged in to Harry's room again.

"There you go again! Barging into people's room is not polite!" Harry Potter once again lectured poor Parry about the politeness of knocking before going into one's bedroom.

"Sorry, but I accidentally dropped my book in your room when I… Ah! here it is!" Parry explained as he suddenly noticed the book on the floor.

(A/N: if you are wondering why he didn't have a book before, well... he's a wizard you know?)

Harry took a glance at the title of the book then nodded understandingly. "I know why you are so rude now. Just from looking at what your reading I can tell. 'How to be Evil' that's not a very good book you know."

"Actually I kinda like it, it's writen by Voldymort (Lord Voldymord's sad way of disguising himself just buy changing the d to t)" explained Parry.

"Hmmmm… somehow that name reminds me of someone." Harry thought, thoughtfully. Then suddenly he remembered something. "Oh yeah! Get out! Once again try knocking this time."

Parry slowly shuffled out of the room and into the halls. Two seconds later, there were two loud bangs on the door.

"You didn't have to knock that loudly!" Harry called to the supposed to be stranger making a gigantuam racket on the outside of his shabby wooden door.

Slightly pissed off, Harry went to open the door for the stranger, "Hey who are you and what do you want?" Harry greeted the "stranger" as if nothing happened.

"Hmmmmm..." Parry uttered as he was thinking of a good response. Apparently, he cannot reveal anything or else certain people will get mad and he may get hexed for it. He also cannot tell who he really is, or a certain someone will get pissed even more. So at the end he settled for an answer, " Parry Lordymord, at your service."

Harry suddenly burst out laughing and fell to the floor giggling his beep (I prefer to keep my story clean of swears, but you can have fun guessing) off.

"Parry Lordymord! HA!" Harry gasped between fits, "What kind of name is that!"

Insulted, Parry stood quietly thinking that the famous Harry Potter was a crazy jerk.

"Well, beg my pardon, but a great master of mine gave me that name," Parry said quietly.

"Oh, great master? Which great master? Surely no one is as good as Professor Dumbledore!" Harry spoke proudly.

At this Parry became a little vexed. A vein pulsed at the side of his forehead, "My master is not, some crack pot old fool like Dumbledore! My master is the most feared wizard of ALL!"

"Ha! As true as it may be that you're a chicken, oh wait then that would be true!" Harry choked out in his laughing fit.

"Excuse me! I would not like myself to be classified as a chicken. You wizards always get us mixed up," Parry scoffed, "I am in fact a very rare species of magical penguins raised in Gwuam! And on further information of my existence, I will not be obliged to tell you anymore, for I have already spoken too much of myself, and certain someones will be ever so mad indeed."

At this he shut his mouth and covered it with both hands.

"Ok, dude, that isn't even funny," Harry remarked as he suddenly stopped laughing. He just stared at the new visitor in a bored fashion, "Fine if there is this all great master of yours, can you tell who it is?"

Parry shut his mouth tight and did not utter a sound. Master will kill me for this, he thought disgusted.

"Parry dear!" the sound of a woman's voice came far away, from downstairs, "it's time to go honey!"

The odd silence was broken as Parry called, "Coming Mommy!"

"Pifff…" Harry sputtered trying to contain his laughter, but to no avail, "mommy? You call your mommy, mommy! AHA HA AHA HA!"

"Oh ya? Well you laugh funny!" Parry said as he stuck out his tongue and slammed the door.

Harry stopped laughing suddenly, "Well, your face!"

Once again, another interruption made by our beloved, main character

Harry: number 1, I soooooooooo do not laugh funny.

Me: it was Parry's part... uh… just read your script. The writer (me) couldn't think of anything better for Parry's comeback.

Harry: well that's so lame. Which leads me to number 2, your face? That's so much lamer, couldn't u write a better comeback for me?

Me: well your lame

Harry: your mom!

Me: see?

… Interruption over

Harry sat in his room thinking over what he and Parry were discussing, apparently not much to him. Parry was, for some reason spouting a lot of rubbish about crossbred penguins and stupid subjects of such. Who is this fearful master that he was talking about?

Well, he had to leave that thought hanging for a moment. It was inevitable that he didn't think too much at a time, or he may tire his brain further. As his thinking diminished, Harry crashed into a very troubling and confusing sleep.

There were two people standing next to each other. One of them was continuously hitting the smaller of the two.

Then smaller one, the seeming victim opened his mouth and was about to say something that may stop his torment from his elder, but suddenly a sharp cold voice screamed. A voice Harry has heard before, but he couldn't think anymore than watch in horror as one of them mutated, and squirmed as if it's flesh was trying to break free of it's skin.

A/N: I tried making this chapter longer. And also, sorry for the wait. I hope you will enjoy this chappie.


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